Being sick in Japan

Hello world, I am addressing this note to the people that keep pestering me with petty annoyanses like; "You are not a real blogger, because you use google images", "You should use your own pictures, this is not real bloggerstyle" and "Don't take internet pictures! You should give them shoutouts or write down their copyright infrengements".
First of all; why are you even calling me a fake blogger, when I am barely a blogger - I don't know the standard ethics and I shouldn't know them either, because I am more like a "dangerous life" kinda guy.
Second for anybody else that has any problems with this blog; I am sincirely sorry, I have made a new blog for you to read, this blog is the true answer to life and gives a rush throughout your body as if it were filled with opitiates. You can read it through this link. Enjoy! >>NEW BLOG 2013<<

So now that it's settled I want to talk about my experience of being sick here in Japan. So first of all, this is how I got sick! I was catching the cold a little bit and I thought that I was well suited enough for rugby training (I wasn't), so I went. As it turned out we were not inside doing muscle training, but outside doing normal training (they changed it, damn asians), and oh yeah... It was raining.... A lot.... So I got wet as hell and froze all day long and that's how it started! And in Japan they go all in on curing a foreing mothertrucker like me, so this is basically the process:

This is what they made me wear :(

• The inspection: As soon as I said the words: "I don't feel well", they rushed me to the hospital like I was dying, but anyways, they took tests and shit and said that I was fine but I had a little sinusitis (who doesn't right?), but they gave me shitloads of medicine anyways, god bless 'em!
• The next inspection: Of course the next day my feber rose to 40 degrees celcius which was rather uncomfortable... So I went to the hospital again, but this time I needed to get more medicine, and I'm not talking like the 500 pills I needed to eat everyday, I am talking worse! It looked like a freaking movie when they injected varouis things into my body via a drip bag! So now I am completely medicated and set for rest and eat a lot of pills the next three days....
• The time use: So I had a looot of time and this is what I spent it on: I heard 3 Jackson Brown albums, and a lot of other old crap, saw two seasons of Big Bang Thoery, saw Stephen King's IT, ate Japanese candy, saw Harry Potter in japanese twice and of course spend an unhealthy amount of hours of social networks (I know, bad Niels).
• The aftermath: So now I am fine, but they still make me measure my feber two times every day! And I have a suspicion that it will go on for a looooong time... But I guess they are just really nice taking so good care of me and at least I got better again!

See you later!

Thanks for reading this blog and hopefully the other one that I linked to above!

 (BAZINGA!) ...too much Big Bang Theory....

Get back in the kitchen

So as you might know, but probably don't... It is one year ago that I made a post about pick-up lines and other tips and tricks to woo the ladies!
With St. Valentine's day coming up, I thought that I would make another post in the same kind of theme, because I am so thoughtful.......

These damn things are scary!

So yeah, Valentine's day, a day of the year in which people can give a card and cheap chocolate to their significant other, a day of the year which most of us should know as a day where most people do nothing at all, especially in Denmark! Well in countries where the population is a little more hyped, Valentine's day is taken more seriously! Let me give you a recap of the Valentine's day everybody thinks of, which is of course is only seen in american movies and what not; the boy buys a card for some girl he likes or his girlfriend and they have a date, done. In Japan it is a different story! Japanese people love american or western traditions, but they always end up here so late... Anyways, they love christmas even though it means nothing to them, they love western toilets (which I am very grateful for), and they love Valentine's day! Valentines day came to Japan in the early 30's and it did not quite fit into their own traditions! In Japan girls work in the kitchen and the men work, it is still that way and who the hell cares besides Johanne? Well, the japanese people thought it would be weird for a boy to give a girl chocolate, so they switched the roles around! Now only girls give presents and chocolate to boys, in fact; they have to!! They even have a ranking system for how the chocolate is distributed! And note that this is ONLY from girl to boy! Anything else would be weird....

1. Love Choco (for someone you love)
2. Giri Choco (for anyone else, like your older students who you must respect)
3. Tomo Choco (for friends)
4. Fami Choco (for family, duh')
5. Gyaku Choco (which literally means; reverse choco, which means that the boy gives the girl chocolate, which nobody does, that's why it has the bottom on the list)

So I am not sure how this will go down... Everybody is SUPER excited for it and I am hoping to get a lot of chocolate because after all, I derserve it.

Dreadful slurping

So now I am writing another post, I am on fire!
No but this time I got people asking me to make more posts about Japan, amongst them is my mother, and I thought I would be so kind and do!

First of all, everybody asks me if I am okay with the japanese culture and way of living and if I am getting used to the routine! And of course I am, I was after the first month! I mean it's very different from western cultures, but still not CRAZY as everybody thinks! The is ooooooone thing though that I can't get used to and NEVER will! They have many funny small things here that they just do, and maybe you have to do it too, so of course I follow all the rules and try to blend in as much as possible! But here is the thing... In Japan they love to eat noodles and foods like that (ramen, udon, soba etc.), and they eat this by slurping it into their mouths! And I mean REALLY REALLY loud! I (of course) do not complain to them about it, but I just die a little bit inside everytime.... I can feel my inner devil telling me to pee in the noodlesoup, that is how annoyed I am! And I will never be able to do it either, even though it is far more convienient than the fancy-ass way we eat it in the western countries. I come from a home where my father would strange a three year old if he made annoying sounds, so I guess that just moved on to me too! But while I am in Japan, I have no reason to complain to them, since it is their culture and I love it too! (except the slurping, it torments my soul).

But let's stay positive! Here is a funny thing that I thought about the other day; I wrote about how japanese adopted some english words, but did you know that I can name quite a few words on the top of my head, that we speak in english, that are actually japanese! Here is a few:

Brings back memories!

TSUNAMI = Where "tsu" means "habour" or "port", and "nami" means "waves".

KARAOKE = Where "Kara" means "empty" (the same "kara" as in "karate"), and "oke" is short for    orchestra.

TEKKEN (the video game) = this actually means "fist"! Where the "te" means hand (as in karaTE).

KARATE = Now you should know that this means "empty hand".


This is the only ones I could think of but it's something!!

Okay, talk to you guys later! (maybe)

3 silly stereotypical things about Japan, that are actually TRUE!

everytime I want to write stuff!

Okay, okay, okay.... Before you even start, I just want to say; I am not a blogger! And I suck at writing this shit and I have left this page dry for 9 months and yes I feel terrible about it, now get it over it!

So basically, here is a short resumé of what I have been doing since!
1: Finished school
2: Had vacation
3: Went to Japan
4: Started school and shit in Japan
5: Got a girlfriend in Japan (using the pickup-lines and girl-guide, from this blog)
6: Stayed here for 5 months now, and writing another post on Amputatoe!

JAPAN!!!

she should be THE danish stereotype!

I don't want to say too much about this Japan stuff, for two reasons; one: there is nobody reading this blog that cares anyways. two: it would take forever.......

But wanted to make an amuzing post this time, so I got the idea of breaking som stereotypes down! I really love stereotypes, because they are funny :-) But I was seriously surprised when I got here, and got confirmed that the worst of them were actually true!!!! Here are my personal three best:

1: Math

This is how I feel :-(

Okay, this is cheap trick... But everybody makes fun of asians, becuase they are good at math! I thought that this could not be true, but holy crap! It's the craziest shit I have ever seen, I am just dying in the math classes and I can't be bothered to even try! And the worst part is: I HAVE NEVER SEEN A SINGLE FREAKIN' CALCULATOR! What the frick?! I really thought that asians did easy shit like us danish people, but I guess that I got proven wrong BIG time!

2: PEACE SIGNS!

So yeah, I guessed that they did not actually do it thaaaaat much, but when I stepped out of my plane on the first day, I was greeted my a lot of old men and literally the first picture they took with me, they all went crazy peace sign! And from there on I find it hard to find a picture from my camera, without any peace signs!

There am I as the only one giving a good old "thumbs up!"

3: ENGRISH

So yeah, everybody seems to think that the japanese's attempt to speak english sounds funny. Even though people have never heard, we just make fun of it. But when I actually came here, I realized that it was in fact ALL true, not just true, even god damn funnier!!!! Here is a small explanation: In Japan they borrow alot of english words (especially new words) and they are written in the "KATAKANA alphabet" which is used for foreign words, so if you can read that, then you can get the funn engrish experience!

So for example; on a McDonalds restaurant the sign would look like this in KATAKANA:

"マクドナルドハンバーガー" which in literally translates to "Makudonarudo Hanbaagaa" which kinda sounds like "McDonald Hamburger", and it is hilarious to see all their funny attempts at english! 

Here is some more examples:

Butter       = Battaa

Picnic       = Piku nikku

Denmark  = Denmaaku

Viking       = Baikingu

 Facebook = Feesubukku

So that has amuzed me a lot! I really love stereotypes!

That is all, only god knows if I will write another post again, but for now - stay safe and enjoy your day! See you (maybe) next time!

Relaxing the mind

Good ol' Arnold!

Hello and welcome back to the blog!!! If you are reading of course... Well obviously you are, because if you read this, then you are reading it since it is my blog. Although that did not make much sense, I meant that it has been a really long time since I posted something in here and well... I'll concider myself lucky if you are reading this! In the time that I have not been writing I have been playing kazoo, talking long walks in the Swedish woods and communicated with Indian over-sized homeless handicapped bats that have escaped from the New Dheli Zoo, so I have a good reason!!
Thanks to Asger, a friend of mine, who reminded me that I had a blog :)

Today I am going to talk about relaxation of the braaaaaaaain. I have paid notice to what people do when they want to relax and I am not talking about, like, relaxing the body because then most people just sleep... And that's pretty much it...
I want to talk about what we do when we want to get our minds relaxed! Many people have different ways of relaxing their minds. Some like to take a walk or run or do sports or watch television, etcetera. Some of you have maybe not even thought about what you do to relax your own mind! Just think about this: when do you feel like you do not have any worries and you feel a bit superior?
In my case I really like to challenge my brain! I usually  read something cool on the internet or read one of my big-ass books about everything. I enjoy brainstorming and doing philosophy that is guided. Either I want to learn something new, or else I want to think about something that I hear about almost everyday and is quite normal and printet well in my brain, you know - get a new point of view :)

This video is made by C. G. P. Grey, whom I LOVE to watch videos by! He does this thing with your mind I think! In this video he just randomly talks about continents and why there should be more or less of them and why they are as they are, and that is sweets for MY brain! I get kind of the same thrill by watching the Big Bang Theory!

I think you should try this out!
If anybody is interested, it would be cool if you could post a comment telling me about your relaxation methods, I would love to hear!

But for now I'll talk to you later! :)

37 hours

Yes, that IS how it looks

Hello there again my dear reader! It is a pleasure to be writing again, because I really do love to write but the life on this school is so awesome that I forget. Well I am home from New York City in one piece but got an awful stomach infection from a disgustin Pastrami Sandwich! Yeah, now we're talking New York City... I got an I LOVE NY t-shirt, some Crest, Skittles in all flavors, a cap and a pimp suit! The trip was fantastic and I will surely never forget it!

Weeeeeeeeell!
What I wanted to tell you today is my story of yesterday! You see, the phenomenon of being up all night is peculiar thing to try, and that is probably why people do it, unless they are at an awesome party, rockin' all night long.
Two days ago when I came to the school we were only three boys in the room because Jeff was home to get his vagina checked at the doctor. Well it got pretty late and Mads fell asleep. Me and Laurits still talked and I think it was about 3:30 AM we decided to stay up all night despite of the fear for f**ing up at school the next day, and we did it! Heres a list of things we did:

• Talked
• Facebook (nothing was to do because nobody was online, duh)
• Stared into a wall
• Watching episodes of Big Bang Theory

Now I will not recommend this, because it was awfully boring at some times because the lights were of all the time as Mads was sleeping. But that night is a night to remember!

The next day I was suprisingly NOT tired at all! I was up all day and actually (almost) lived like it was normal day. 

When I finally laid back and slept, I had been awake for 37 hours! I was pretty proud!

                          And pleace don't show this to a teacher from my school because in that case....

                              I'm f**ked!

Goodabaaai!

NYC 3

Hello! Long time no see! I have been doing some awesome things here in New York so I have not been given a chance to blog! But now I will tell you some of the things I've been doin'!

Well two days ago the qlimax of the day was probably the brunch! It was the most crazy and mindblowing brunch ever! And you might think; "Niels... Brunch is sooo overrated!", but no. That brunch was crazy as f**k! The restaurant is called The View and is located at Times Sq. and rotates so you get the whole view of Manhattan meanwhile you enjoy your meal! The food was so crazy and I felt like I could explode so full I was! 

That day we also went to Central Park, 110th street, Trinity Church, Wall Street and the Empire State Building! What a day huh? My legs almost started to come off! That sh*t aint healthy!


The next day we visited HARLEM!! You know the place where all the black people live! I was scared as hell all the time! Some of these guys are crazy gangsters that are pimpin', hustlin', killin' and makin' the wrong kinds of monaaaay! I bought a suit there. A suit that will make me look like a pimp! But as you know - That's Harlem!

The people of Harlem stand in line to write their names on the sorrow list for Whitney Houston! Meanwhile they can buy the thousand t-shirts with her face on it that were displayed EVERYWHERE!

L8TER!