Relaxing the mind

Good ol' Arnold!

Hello and welcome back to the blog!!! If you are reading of course... Well obviously you are, because if you read this, then you are reading it since it is my blog. Although that did not make much sense, I meant that it has been a really long time since I posted something in here and well... I'll concider myself lucky if you are reading this! In the time that I have not been writing I have been playing kazoo, talking long walks in the Swedish woods and communicated with Indian over-sized homeless handicapped bats that have escaped from the New Dheli Zoo, so I have a good reason!!
Thanks to Asger, a friend of mine, who reminded me that I had a blog :)

Today I am going to talk about relaxation of the braaaaaaaain. I have paid notice to what people do when they want to relax and I am not talking about, like, relaxing the body because then most people just sleep... And that's pretty much it...
I want to talk about what we do when we want to get our minds relaxed! Many people have different ways of relaxing their minds. Some like to take a walk or run or do sports or watch television, etcetera. Some of you have maybe not even thought about what you do to relax your own mind! Just think about this: when do you feel like you do not have any worries and you feel a bit superior?
In my case I really like to challenge my brain! I usually  read something cool on the internet or read one of my big-ass books about everything. I enjoy brainstorming and doing philosophy that is guided. Either I want to learn something new, or else I want to think about something that I hear about almost everyday and is quite normal and printet well in my brain, you know - get a new point of view :)

This video is made by C. G. P. Grey, whom I LOVE to watch videos by! He does this thing with your mind I think! In this video he just randomly talks about continents and why there should be more or less of them and why they are as they are, and that is sweets for MY brain! I get kind of the same thrill by watching the Big Bang Theory!

I think you should try this out!
If anybody is interested, it would be cool if you could post a comment telling me about your relaxation methods, I would love to hear!

But for now I'll talk to you later! :)

37 hours

Yes, that IS how it looks

Hello there again my dear reader! It is a pleasure to be writing again, because I really do love to write but the life on this school is so awesome that I forget. Well I am home from New York City in one piece but got an awful stomach infection from a disgustin Pastrami Sandwich! Yeah, now we're talking New York City... I got an I LOVE NY t-shirt, some Crest, Skittles in all flavors, a cap and a pimp suit! The trip was fantastic and I will surely never forget it!

Weeeeeeeeell!
What I wanted to tell you today is my story of yesterday! You see, the phenomenon of being up all night is peculiar thing to try, and that is probably why people do it, unless they are at an awesome party, rockin' all night long.
Two days ago when I came to the school we were only three boys in the room because Jeff was home to get his vagina checked at the doctor. Well it got pretty late and Mads fell asleep. Me and Laurits still talked and I think it was about 3:30 AM we decided to stay up all night despite of the fear for f**ing up at school the next day, and we did it! Heres a list of things we did:

• Talked
• Facebook (nothing was to do because nobody was online, duh)
• Stared into a wall
• Watching episodes of Big Bang Theory

Now I will not recommend this, because it was awfully boring at some times because the lights were of all the time as Mads was sleeping. But that night is a night to remember!

The next day I was suprisingly NOT tired at all! I was up all day and actually (almost) lived like it was normal day. 

When I finally laid back and slept, I had been awake for 37 hours! I was pretty proud!

                          And pleace don't show this to a teacher from my school because in that case....

                              I'm f**ked!

Goodabaaai!

NYC 3

Hello! Long time no see! I have been doing some awesome things here in New York so I have not been given a chance to blog! But now I will tell you some of the things I've been doin'!

Well two days ago the qlimax of the day was probably the brunch! It was the most crazy and mindblowing brunch ever! And you might think; "Niels... Brunch is sooo overrated!", but no. That brunch was crazy as f**k! The restaurant is called The View and is located at Times Sq. and rotates so you get the whole view of Manhattan meanwhile you enjoy your meal! The food was so crazy and I felt like I could explode so full I was! 

That day we also went to Central Park, 110th street, Trinity Church, Wall Street and the Empire State Building! What a day huh? My legs almost started to come off! That sh*t aint healthy!


The next day we visited HARLEM!! You know the place where all the black people live! I was scared as hell all the time! Some of these guys are crazy gangsters that are pimpin', hustlin', killin' and makin' the wrong kinds of monaaaay! I bought a suit there. A suit that will make me look like a pimp! But as you know - That's Harlem!

The people of Harlem stand in line to write their names on the sorrow list for Whitney Houston! Meanwhile they can buy the thousand t-shirts with her face on it that were displayed EVERYWHERE!

L8TER!

NYC 2

Hello again! Aaaaaas you know I am currently in the Big Apple, the city that never sleeps, the city of all cities - New York City! I have to tell you, I am absolutely mindblown! This city is fantastic and I could defenitly spend a lifetime there! Although I would rather stay in Denmark!! I live right beside Central Park and Time Square, right in the middle of everything, so that is fantastic!

A picture of Time Square from today

Actually did you know that about one and a half million people live on Manhattan, but on a regular day over three million people walk the streets of Manhattan! That is a lot, considering that Manhattan is a small part of New York City! About eight million live in New York City in total, and 36% of them are not born in the U.S.A! New York have actually not always been called New York. When the dutch took the land a long ass time ago, they called it "New Amsterdam" but then they got their asses handed to em' by the british also a long ass time ago and then the british called it New York! New York were the capital of U.S.A. from 1789 to 1790 and George Washington became president there!
So there you go! Randon sh*t I know about New York, hope you liked it!
ps. they sell the most disgusting hot dogs on earth! They taste good, but it is like eating a roadkill!

Homeless people tend to be awesome sometimes!

Bye bye!

NYC

As you have probably know, the annual winter vacation is coming up, and I grateful to be travelling all the way the United States! I am going to spend a week in New York City and see what there is to see! I am excited and I am defenitly going to blog while I am away!







I want to share a bit funny story that my sister told me and one of her friends told her. It is this danish woman that is afraid of black people (quite racist, but some people just tend to be stupid). Anyway, this woman is travelling to New York City with her family and she was a bit frightened in the start because you know about 13% of the american population is black... But she took the trip and they stayed in a hotel near Times Sqaure, actually it was pretty luxurious! She was told that not many black people lived in that neighbourhood so she took the chance. BUT! One day when going down the elevator from the top floor, it stopped on the way down (she was the only person in the elevator), and three black men stepped in the small elevator. Two of them where big as f**k! I mean Shaq-size! And the last one was a little older and smaller. The woman stood there a bit scared and did not say anything even though they said hello, and then one of the big guys said; "Down." You know because they were going down with the elevator, but the woman screamed and jumped down on the floor and shouted "please do not hurt me! I will give you all my money!", the three men laughed and hushed too make sure that the woman knew she was in safety! They then got out, and three days went by... The last day the woman and her family was going home and when they were going to check out, the man at the counter said: "The bill has been paid, he left you this card!" the card said:

"Thank you! That was hillarious, you totally made my day!  -Eddie Murphy"

And so she went home, a bit humiliated knowing that she thought that Eddie Murphy and his two bodyguards were going to kill her! :-)
That is a funny story I think!

Got'ya b**ch!

See you later on!

Read this and you will survive

It has come to my attention that we live in 2012. And I am not kidding, 2012! This is probably the most infamous year of all time! Why? Oh, maybe just because it is the end of the f**king world! Well I read about this phenomenon and there is actually quite a lot of theories! Some think that it is because of the mayan calender that is running out, some think that it because of solar powers, some think that Justin Bieber fans are going to extinct the entire population and some think that it is the good old fashioned zombie apocalypse!

If i had to choose, I would say that the zombie apocalypse is most likely to happen and if I say so, it will.

Now my dear friends, do not fear, panic or wet your pants because I am going to teach you how to survive a vicious zombie attack! Here we go.

Step 1: Know a zombie

How a zombie looks

The first thing to do is know, what the heck is a zombie? A zombie is a living dead person who has resurected from the grave and now walks the earth looking for random sh*t to eat.

You can tell if it is a zombie by the blood stains, lazy ass walk and sunken-in-eyes. Just in case you do not know the difference between a human and a zombie heres a scale. If you see a person do some of these things they are probably not a zombie:

• Play basketball
• Ride a bike
• Read the news paper
• Not eating people

So now you are all set to survive!

Step 2: SHELTER!

Shelter is an essential thing if you want to survive a zombie attack! First of all do not hide in 

• Cars
• Trash cans
• In a tree

Those things will guarantee you to get killed, instead find an abandoned house! Houses will provide space, tv's no entrance for the zombies and MONAAAY.

Step 3: Weapons

Weapons are also crucial if you want to defend yourself! Weapons that will defenitly help you are:

• Scissors
• Knives
• Axes
• Bazookas

And weapons that I do NOT encourage you to use is

• Fax machines
• Deodorant
• VHS tapes
• Leafs

Make sure you have a weapon or else you will be dead by day 43 of apocalypse!

Step 4: Using them

When trying to kill a zombie always go for the head! They tend to fall off and at other times the zombie just tend to run off. So always go for the head! 

Step 5: basic survival tips

Always keep a bag of chips with you, a big manly zombie hunter can always do some chips! Another thing is  something to start fires with like lighters or matches. Do not use two pieces of wood that will only cause you trouble! Food on can is also a good idea and if you ever get hungry - Eat the zombies. Most people do not know about it, but zombies has a whole grillfried chicken inside them ready for you to eat, some even has potatoes and bread I heard, but I think that it is just a rumour...

Now with these steps you should be able to help you make the year 2013! See you next time!

This is you

Adios! 

Living with animals

Hello again! I have been told by a guy called Karl Mar, that it is a good thing to blog about something you love!   So I am going to make a blog about something I love very much!
As you may know I live at my school. We all live in different rooms, some rooms have two persons other has four persons and one room even has eight! That is a f**king collective society if you ask me! But in my case I live in a room with three other boyzzz and these guys are quite awesome if you ask me.
One of them is called Laurits he is a blondehaired cool guy with peculiar fingers and hates nazis (we all do, don't we?). The next one is Mads. Mads is a good guy with superman compabilities in gymnastics! He actually made the danish national mix team, I am proud! Now the two boys I have just mentioned are tenth graders. That means that they were too stupid to finish the ninth grade and then they blame it on the ones that are ninth graders. Pretty childish if you ask me... Oh, well! Next up we have Jeff! A skaterboy from Vejen City. He love women, booze and monaaay! He hates penis (and cleaning up). Jeff is a ninth grader like me!

"These boys mean the world to me. The room that I am living in is the best room on earth. In weekends and vacations I find it hard too sleep without them, and I can't even imagine what it will be like when this fantastic schoolstay ends! I share everything with them, and we always have so much fun! I remember the days where we spent hours just talking and laughing after midnight! So I am the most grateful guy on the planet to live with these awesome dudes, thank god! I hope nothing is ever to hurt them and I will surely NEVER forget them, they will always be in my heart <3"

F**k yes! A G can be sentimental too! That is probably one of my most beloved things, so I'll see if am going blog about some of the things I love in the future.

SAYONARA B**CHES!!!

A picture and two lines of text = a consistent blog! (99% of all blogs)

Here is a picture from my everyday life, I like the way the green colors lead a positive atmosphere through the picture.

"And remember my dear readers, the question that should drive you hazy; is it you or the others that are crazy?"

Weekly origin #1

Today while making an unusual toilet visit, I thought that it would be healthy for my blog to have some kind of weekly post. I have been reading several books by author Uncle John and the bathroom readers institute called Bathroom Reader in different versions. These books contain lots of trivia and knowledge  that people like me enjoy. The books always has chapters called "origins", these origins are f**cking cool, and I want to share it with you. So this is my first weekly origin, enjoy.

Okay this weeks origin is AIRPLANE PEANUTS!
Okay, you may think that this is a weird topic... But the history behind it is actually quite interesting!

Now of days you can not barely step into an airplane without getting handed a bag of peanuts or pretzels, but before the 30's it never happened. It all started with continental airlines. The airline started a campaign where they would serve beer and cocktails. The campaign was a complete success! Continental airlines then thought; "This f**cking rules! LET$ MAKE $OME MORE MONAAAAAY!!!". Then an innovator and f**cking genius from the company thought: "If we can make people drink more, we can make more MONAAAAY! So if we give them something to make them thirsty we can make them buy more drinks and pay us more MONAAAY!!". The other workers at continental airlines loved the idea, and they thought that salty peanuts were a good start. People loved the peanuts, and from there on every airline gave out peanuts. And that's how it went down.

I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

Doing fine among the ladies

By this time of year of the people around me have found love. Love is blooming around my school, (I live at my school among the other students) and people tend to fall in love severel times and some even start relationships. Except me and the other loners. I am not trying to say that I need some love and care or that I am tired of being sinlge, because I LOVE being single!
This post is actually just a collection of tips to WOO the ladies or boys, based on what I have experienced other students do at my school. Here you go.

First of all; set a goal. You may come to realise that you can not pull off a chick that has a boyfriend or a chick you do not talk to at all, so make sure you know the person well, before you let your feelings grow.

Next step would be to talk to the girl in a way so that she knows that you want to get out of the friendzone! A good start could be a kicka** pickup line like these:

• Hey babe are you a broom? Because you swept my feet of the ground!
• Hey honey, you tired? No? Just because you have been running through my mind all night.
• What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
• Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world? 
• Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
• Hey girl, you wanna give birth to all my f**king children!

Once you have that done, she should be all set and you have to give her your heart. And remember that this not just any heart, it is a heart shaped box with chocolates in it! You simply ask her if she loves you and if she sees the box of chcolates first, she will say yes! (women loves them some f**cking chocolate). Or you can dump her if she says no (they only say no, if they haven't seen the chocolate), and then after that, show her the box and tell her that she would have gotten it if she said yes and then laugh at her when she regrets she said no, because she wants the F**CKING CHOCOLATE!!! And then try on some other girl. Now these steps have all been testet and I tell you, if this does not get you love. Nothing will.



PEACE OUT.

introduction!

As I sit down in front of my computer right now in the middle of the night, I came to realize that I would like to share my thoughts through a blog, like some of my friends do. When I wrote this, I did not expect any readers besides the ones at my school that is going to make fun of it, when I show it to them. I am a full blood danish G that hangs with his peeps at the mall, so dont f**k with this blog, you know... Somethin' like that.

I have for a long time thought that blogging, was quite silly - but as a wise man once said;

"Nothing is to be condemned until, one has fully understood the concept of doing."

(actually I just made that up). You get my drift, but I always thought bloggers were a little like the former danish politician Mogen Glistrup!

"

                                                                               No, actually I dont...


I have planned to blog about something that have been buzzing my mind these days tommorow, and hopefully keep this very inappropriate blog updated.

Thanks for now.


Yours sincerely.
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